You Are What You Want: Untangling Compulsory Heterosexuality and Finding New Hobbies with Madeline Qi Ep. 5]
Here’s what you can expect from this episode:
Compulsory heterosexuality is the theory that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon people by a patriarchal and heteronormative society. Ever heard of the Lesbian Masterdoc? It’s a resource that was put together to address this phenomena. I’m not saying it’s infallible, but it’s worth checking out!
Today’s guest, Madeline Qi, is the host of Over & Out, a Tiktoker and a Youtuber. She caught my attention after posting a Tiktok that started with the words “I decided to be a lesbian.” Now, you can imagine, that caused some controversy. But I actually love the point she made and I was so fascinated by her story, I had to have her on the show. So we’ll be opening the conversation by diving right in to that post. Why did it rub some people the wrong way and totally validate others? Does she stand by it? Can we deepen the conversation about sexuality beyond the black and white understanding many people have?
But at the heart, this conversation is one about desire. Madeline has a pulse on her own desires to such a degree that she was able to leave a long term relationship, move to a new city, seek treatment for her eating disorder and cut off toxic family members in a very short amount of time. We’re exploring what that kind of uprooting has done to her life and where she’s at now. This episode will have you asking yourself - am I friends with my desires? Or do they scare the hell out of me? If they do, that’s okay, babe! We’re all in this together, slowing taking stock of our own wants and needs every day.
This episode is all about addressing those parts of our lives that are compulsive. What are we accepting because we've been told that we should and not because we actually want to? Maybe it’s a job that feels like it’s sucking the life force out of us. Maybe it’s an assumption that we will always be a certain type of person in our relationships. Whatever it is, my That's So Raven vision just showed big realizations coming your way after listening to the ep!
Content warning: eating disorders, narcissistic parents (take care of yourself love)
Topics covered:
Why coming out is not always a straight forward, “I’ve always know this about myself” kind of process
Control as a coping mechanism and how Madeline gave it up
The non-linear healing involved with recovering from an eating disorder
How cutting off toxic family members has changed her life
Setting up an extra-curricular calendar for yourself as an adult
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends! That’s literally the sexiest thing you can do. It will instantly make you hotter!
Resources Mentioned:
Listen to the Spotify playlist!
Connect with Madeline:
Listen to Over & Out
Follow on Tiktok
Follow on Youtube
Connect with me:
More about Wild Geese:
Wild Geese aims to bring together the creative entrepreneurs, community organizers, and shadow artists coming into the light to cheer each other on in carving a new path. I’m your host, Anna Corinne - a NYC based podcast strategist and actress. Think of this as your little plot in the woods where you can lay down a picnic blanket, gather with your friends, and gab!
Every Thursday, I’m sitting down with community organizers, creative entrepreneurs, writers, and generally fascinating people. I want listening to Wild Geese to feel like night in a fluffy chair, cat purring at your feet, warm light creating a glow, and all of your friends in one room together.
